Crying Shame

It's so much fun talking to A, my former roommate. I think we understand each other really well, although something prevents both of us from becoming really good friends. There is that comfort level; we have similar strong views on issues that are close to both of us, and certain pockets of our personality couldn't be more congruous, but our similarities also end abruptly at a certain point. It is very intriguing. I don't know if she feels the same way. I mean to tell you about how we met after a couple of months and conversation flowed from the very first moment. It was effortless and the topics discussed ranged from boys to the theatrics of Room 216 to religion to sexism! And sexism is what inspires this blog.

Everyone, without exception, is in denial about something or the other in their lives. My entire country is in denial about the dire consequences of sexism. We city-bred snobs try to push the dirt under the carpet, waving a casual hand, announcing with cavalier confidence that such things as gender roles exist and are perpetuated in "backward" areas like villages and towns. Large cities that are mainly populated with "educated and enlightened" individuals cannot possibly be infected with such retrograde social problems. Delhi, Kolkata, Chennai and Mumbai are all about "progress". One never comes across a rape case that hasn't on record that the girl could have been dressed more modestly! No Sir! This was the easiest thing to say, and I can build my entire "case" on this sensational social problem. But I won't. I want to talk about simpler instances. Instances that are conveniently overlooked by men and women even though some of them scream injustice at us. Instances that are common, more than rape cases are, and so much so that they have become traditional. Somehow what's traditional and what's right is grossly mixed up.

Scene 1: Teacher in front of classroom filled with girls. Girls waiting impatiently for the woman to say something so they can get back to playing sports. Teacher assuming superior air because she is older and "wiser", lifting an authoritative finger to tell us in a cautionary tone to refrain from "smiling at boys because they might misunderstand".

Scene 2: Eighth grade Science Club Project--making Indian pickle. Lab filled with girls, one of which (me) is confused and dares to ask the (woman) teacher about the curious absence of all the boys of the class. Teacher responding in the bitchiest way possible, "Why, are you so desperate that you can't live without them for a day?" Girl baffled, ashamed and sorry she ever questioned although it still didn't seem right that only girls should be subject to pickle making just because of their sex and because it was traditionally done by women.

Scene 3: Living room of a well-off family that houses all the comforts a 'happy' family can hope for. Picture perfect. Oh, but let's take a closer look! Dad and daughter having a conversation. (Now what's wrong with that?!)

Daughter: Dad, I've thought a lot about this. I'm sure I want to study abroad. America has an excellent course in ---. I know I want to study this! Why are you so against my decision?!

Dad: Because it's a man's world!